It is an interesting thought that many of us love to give and yet struggle to receive.
The heart also symbolically represents love and If we were to think of love, it in many ways represents the epitome of this flow of give and take. This loving flow creating a partnership of care. We all appear to value love as a society, for we make songs, films, books and art in the name of it. We celebrate it as the annual event of Valentine’s Day, we mark it with weddings, we take small, private intimate moments to let another know we care. It all seems so perfect!
Yet in reality, this flow of love can take a different view.
However, I don’t want to wander down the path of relationships and what does yours look like if you are in one or how you feel if you are single. As an aside you can ask yourself if you feel your love life is blocked in the context of giving and receiving.
Love doesn’t just take on the form of a significant other love, there is love for family, for friends, for the planet and more. There are many ways to express love, but, let me get back to the idea of love as a flow of giving and receiving and what our relationship to that looks like.
Take a moment and check in, how do you feel about receiving?
Quite often we can understand our relationship to receiving in the way we react to compliments, in the way we refuse help, in the way we keep busy, in the way we feel guilt if any time is prioritised to self, in the way we go out of our way to help others, in the way we don’t accept reward for our work and so on… rather than the how we feel in regards to the physical act of receiving a gift.
If you receive gracefully and with love then wonderful, but if you find you struggle to receive then ask what makes it so hard?
Underneath is often a feeling of not worthy enough, not good enough, not enough… of whatever your particular language of how you diminish yourself takes form. The inner critic does so love to rear its head to tell you all the reasons why you cannot receive but here’s the thing, if you cannot tell yourself you are worthy to receive you end up giving until you can give no more. Your flow has run dry!
We often attempt to replenish this flow through unhealthy coping strategies, which then creates another cycle of why you’re no good and don’t deserve and lash out as to the unfairness of the world. And not to be cruel but there is every possibility you end up being a martyr where you give and won’t let anyone help or help yourself as you cannot receive.
So… what to do?
Self-love, self-love, self-love with a side of self-care. It is so important to stop, pause and re-prioritise you.
Here are three ideas for you to start to receive:
- Ask, what do you really need? Then make sure you allow yourself the time to do something for you. This is about giving yourself the gift of receiving time from you as you dedicate a moment of prioritising your needs.
- Look in the mirror and notice what comes up for you and how quick the critical voice wants to take from you. What words do you need to receive from yourself? Speak them and talk to yourself with loving compassion as you compliment you.
- Tell somebody what you want to receive from them. It could be time, space, help, appreciation. Can you find your voice to communicate your needs? Once communicated allow yourself to receive what you need from another.
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Start to notice what happens when you shift into a receiving mode.
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If you need guidance & support, I offer private coaching and breathwork or you’re welcome to join me in The Curious Club to be part of a nurturing community as you take care of your wellbeing.
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