“Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.” ~ Harold Coffin.
It’s easy for us to compare our lives against others and to want it all.
How do you feel, think or act when you see others succeeding? Losing weight? Or in love? We all deserve success, love and happiness but how we react or think towards others can tells us more about ourselves.
So it’s important to be aware of how you respond to others who are excelling where you feel you are not.
We can quickly fall into the trap of resentment, bitterness and sometimes sabotage! This can cause us to do things we wouldn’t normally do. Australia has a phrase for this – the tall poppy syndrome.
Envy can easily morph from a simple desire into discontentment, leading to distress and even spiralling into depression.
There is nothing wrong with wanting more for ourselves, but we must be mindful about how we go about it.
Being envious of peoples’ appearance, talents, relationships and bank accounts offers no positive contribution to our lives. Our insecurities are shown in these moments. Responding negatively comes from a lack of self-belief in our own gifts and talents.
In these frustrating and trying times it is important to recognise how we are reacting to these triggers and intercept these negative responses with praise, encouragement and love for others. This may be a struggle in the moment, but the more you practise being happy for the success of others the more happiness and success you will attract to your own life.
Focus on what is good in your life! Some days it may feel like a search, but you have many blessings that are so easily taken for granted. Acknowledging gratitude for what we have has many benefits to our outlook on life.
Remind yourself that nobody has it all! We compare our lives to those on social media and in most cases, these are just their snapshots of the good times. They may even be ‘manufactured’ images used as PR. Any ‘not so good’ moments or events are not put on display! This gives us a very one-sided view of others’ lives leading us to envy something that is probably not even real.
So genuinely celebrate the success of others. The more you learn to experience happiness in others joy, the more joy you will create in your own life.
This is also a great opportunity to look at the people around you. Do those who surround you speak of envy in a negative way? Awareness of others envy behaviour will help you become aware of your own. Choose your company wisely and surround yourself with people who practice gratitude.
Stop comparing yourself. You are unique and you have your own path to follow. This means that good things will come to you in its own time.
Trust yourself. True self-confidence has no room for envy. When you know you are great, you have no need for hate.
Our Healthily Happy Retreat helps you discover what brings you contentment and create the confidence and vitality to move forward with self-belief.